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How To Be Romantic With Your Spouse

As the days come closer to one’s marriage, excitement, ecstasy, and elation pump through the bride and groom. The build-up to marriage is an experience of thrill and jubilation. When the marriage is solemnized, one’s happiness and delight is on the verge of brimming and tipping over. When the newlywed couple meets for the first time, words cannot describe the sweetness, bliss, serenity, pleasure, and elation experienced by the two.

If every day of the marriage mirrors the first day of marriage, and every night reflects the first night of marriage, then the marriage will be a euphoric experience in this world.

The first couple of months are always a “honeymoon”. Once the couple settles down, then reality begins. Many couples fail at this point. The husband gets engrossed in his job. He comes home tired and late, feeling hungry and tired. He demands food and feels too lazy to do anything. He eats, puts the dirty plates in the sink, and lies down on the sofa. He might awaken to perform salah if he is conscious of salah. Otherwise, he wakes up later on towards the night, phones a few friends, watches TV, and keeps ordering the wife to get him x and y. When it is time to sleep, the husband, if he is feeling in a good mood, will have relations with his wife-but only to satisfy his needs. Once he is fulfilled, he stops and drops off to sleep. Whether the wife is satisfied or not does not even cross his mind. This becomes the routine of his life.

The wife, on the other hand, initially tries to please her husband. She slowly loses her enthusiasm as she does not receive enough attention from her husband. She cooks to please her husband. She will put effort into her food. She will try and perfect every detail in the food. The presentation, ingredients, and spices are put meticulously so they complement each other. After a while, she begins to tire from this as her husband does not comment or criticize her food. As soon as the husband goes to work, she is on the phone with her associates. She cooks, watches TV, cleans the house, and enjoys her day before her husband comes home. Once the husband comes, she becomes a slave again.

This style of marriage, where there is no affection shown, no real emotion transmitted from one party to the other, is heading towards destruction.

The husband needs to implement the romance that the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam displayed. We consider Romeo to be romantic but not the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam. If I were to say the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was the most romantic individual, I would not be lying. Looking attentively at the biography of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam, you will find that he was extending a great deal of respect to his wives and was displaying high attention, care, and love toward them.

He was the best example of ideal manners toward his wife. He was comforting for his wives, wiping their tears, respecting their emotions, hearing their words, caring for their complaints, alleviating their sadness, going on picnics with them, racing with them, bearing their abandonment, discussing matters with them, keeping their dignity, supporting them in emergencies, declaring his love to them, and was very happy with such love.

The husband and wife have to bond with one another psychologically, physically, and spiritually. Here are some attractive examples and points we need to adopt to achieve a marriage of romance:

1) Know their feelings
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was telling Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha: “I know well when you are pleased or angry with me. Aisha replied, “How do you know that?” He said: When you are pleased with me, you swear by saying ‘By the God of Mohammad’, but when you are angry, you swear by saying ‘By the God of Ibrahim’. She said: You are right, I don’t mention your name.”

The husband and wife should be aware of each other’s feelings. The husband should be able to gauge when his wife is upset or sad; likewise, the wife should be able to read her husband’s behaviour. Being conscious of one another’s feelings will help in resolving any differences. When your spouse is down or upset, be there to console him/her. Sit with them, speak with them, listen to them. Try and make them smile. If the husband is always conscious of his wife’s feelings, and the wife is always conscious of the husband’s feelings, then this will assist greatly in keeping the flicker alight.

2) Console her
Sayyidah Safiyah radiallahu anha was on a journey with the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam. She was late, so the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam received her while she was crying. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down.

This is another feature a marriage must have. Each spouse has to be there for the other in the good and bad times. The wife should find comfort and solace in the husband, and the husband should find warmth and love in his wife. Be gentle with one another.

Greet Her On Behalf Of Her Lord

Narrated Abu Hurairah: Jibril (Gabriel) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said: “O Allah’s Messenger! This is Khadijah, bringing you a dish with meat soup (or some other food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a palace made of Qasab in Paradise, wherein there will be neither any noise nor any toil (fatigue, trouble, etc.).” [Source~ Al-Bukhari]

‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbas narrated that one day the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) drew four lines on the earth and asked his Companions if they understood what these lines stood for. They respectfully replied that he knew better. He then told them that these lines stood for the four foremost ladies of the universe. They were Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Fatimah bint Muhammad, Maryam bint Imran, the mother of the Prophet Issa (peace and blessings be upon him), and ‘Asia bint Muzahim (the wife of the Pharaoh). She was the first person to have an abiding faith in the utterances of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and to accept Islam as her religion and her way of life. She was blessed with the distinction of having been greeted with Salam (greetings) by Allah and the Angel Jibril.

Khadijah (r.a.) was born in Makkah in the year 556 CE. Her mother’s name was Fatimah bint Zayd, and her father’s name was Khuwaylid bin Asad. He was a very popular leader among the tribe of Quraysh, and a very prosperous businessman who died while fighting in the famous battle of Fujjar. Khadijah thus grew up in the lap of luxury. She married Abu Halah Malak bin Nabash bin Zarrarah bin At-Tamimi and bore him two children, Halah and Hind. She wanted to see her husband prosper and financed him in setting up a big business. But unfortunately, he passed away. Sometime later, the young widow married ‘Atique bin ‘Aith bin ‘Abdullah Al-Makhzumi, and she had a daughter by him as well, named Hindah, but the marriage soon broke up on grounds of incompatibility.

After this, all her attention was devoted to the upbringing of her children and building up the business she inherited from her father. Her astuteness and business ability made her business one of the most widespread businesses among the Quraysh. Her policy was to employ hardworking, honest, and distinguished managers to deal on her behalf, as a lot depended on the integrity of the employees who travelled far and wide on her behalf. She exported her goods to faraway markets like Syria, and her managers bought goods from those markets to be sold at home.

Lessons We Can Learn from Surah Luqman

Besides the Prophets, in the Quran, Allah Almighty also reckons the existence and presence of wise people in the Quran who, although they were not Prophets,but Allah Almighty blessed them with wisdom and respect. One of such people mentioned in the Quran is Hakim Luqman.

Hakim Luqman is renowned as one of the wisest men among Muslims. He has had the honor of being mentioned in the Quran for His wisdom and the lessons he gave to his son. Although the origin and his stature as a person are not clearly known, however, all the Muslim scholars agree on the fact that he was one of the wisest people to have lived on earth.

In the Quran, Allah Almighty says about Hakim Luqman in the following way:
“And indeed We bestowed upon Luqman Al-Hakim (wisdom and religious understanding, etc.) saying: “Give thanks to Allah,” and whoever gives thanks, he gives thanks for (the good of) his own self. And whoever is unthankful, then verily, Allah is All-Rich (free of all wants), Worthy of all praise.” (31:12)

From this ayah, it is clear that Allah Almighty provided wisdom and guidance to Luqman, for which he was always grateful to Allah Almighty and was one of His servants. The advice which he gave to his son, which can be regarded as lessons, is given below.

Worship Allah Only:
In the Quran, Allah Almighty says: “And (remember) when Lukman said to his son when he was advising him: “O my son! Join not in worship others with Allah. Verily! Joining others in worship with Allah is a great Zulm (wrong) indeed.” (31:13)

The first advice that Luqman gave to his son was to worship Allah Almighty only and not take anyone else equal in worship with him. It is the basis of the Islamic belief, and everyone who has a little bit of wisdom would realize the fact that there is only one God and that is Allah, and there is none who is equal to Him. Thus, Muslims must take the lesson from it that reckoning Allah as the only Lord is a sign of wisdom, and those who don’t do so are wrong indeed.

Respect The Parents:
In the Quran, Allah Almighty says: “And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years– give thanks to Me and to your parents, – unto Me is the final destination.”(31:14)

The second lesson to be learned from Surah Luqman is being respectful to parents. Allah Almighty clearly mentions that one needs to be thankful to both the parents and Allah Almighty; therefore, what parents do is not their duty, rather they deserve special thanks from the children.

However, in the second ayah of the sequence, Allah Almighty clearly mentions that if both the parents try to prevent a person from worshiping Allah or make him or her worship someone else, then in that case a person is not to oblige to parents and leave all their compulsion and enforcement wisely with kind words and continue following the path of Allah Almighty. Therefore, in no case should a person be rude to the parents. One should obey them, but when it comes to worshiping Allah, there should be no compromise made, but still with kindness and politeness.

Deeds Get Rewarded:
Further in the Surah, Luqman says to his son: “O my son! If it is (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it is in a rock, or in the heavens, or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily, Allah is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well-Aware (of its place).” (31:16)

This ayah gives the lesson that deeds always get rewarded. Regardless of whether it is a small deed done in public or a small deed done in isolation, it will get rewarded, and Allah Almighty will definitely do justice for whatever actions a person has committed on the day of judgment.

Offer Prayers and Do Good:
The next ayah of Surah Luqman talks about offering prayer, in which Hakim Luqman said: “O my son! Aqim-is-Salat (offer prayer perfectly), enjoin (people) for Almaruf, and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar, and bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily! These are some important commandments ordered by Allah with no exemption.” (31:17)

From this ayah, it is clear that a person should offer prayers regularly, do good, forbid evil, and be patient in whatever Allah Almighty sends on a person. If these four elements are analyzed, these are the true essence of Islam, and the objective of it is to make a person stick to the path of righteousness, abhor evil, and always remain patient in adversity, which shows how strong a faith a person has in Allah Almighty.

Conclusion:
In a nutshell, the recitation of Surah Luqman with translation gives lessons that every Muslim must try to incorporate in his or her life in order to ensure that the life spent is on the path of righteousness and one remains spiritually pure and wise.

Diet In Islam The Greatest Gift – The Human Body

Diet plays a vital role in the daily life of a believer. Many verses in the Noble Quran draw a person’s attention to themselves and invite them to carefully study their body and soul, as well as the nature of their mutual relationship. By doing so, one will firstly find in it strong evidence of the existence of Allah and that Allah has not created mankind and all other beings of this world without any purpose, as mentioned in the Noble Quran: “Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose.” (3:191)

The Importance of Healthiness
It is therefore necessary to ensure that the physical body is kept healthy so that the soul and spirit may also remain healthy, thus in turn aiding the believer in the service of both his spiritual and material attainment. Diet, therefore, plays an important role in this purpose. For this reason, Islam has prohibited certain foods due to their ill effects and permitted all other pure, good, and clean food products. Allah Ta’ala says in the Noble Qur’an:

“O’ Believers! Eat of the good and pure (lawful) that We have provided you with and be grateful to Allah, if you truly worship Him.” (2:172)

Muslims in general are advised to eat good and pure things and not to indulge in impure, bad, and harmful things, thus following their open enemy, Shaitan: “O People! Eat of what is lawful and good on the Earth, and do not follow the footsteps of Shaitan, for he is your open enemy.” (2:168)

The Messenger of Allah (Sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam)

Loving Allah and His messenger (salAllaahu alayhi wa salam) is a duty upon every Muslim. Loving the Prophet of Allah (salAllaahu alayhi wa salam) should be manifested in both our speech and actions. It is not sufficient to simply claim to love the Prophet Muhammad yet continue to disobey Allah and His Messenger. Loving the Prophet Muhammad (salAllaahu alayhi wa salam) means following his Sunnah and avoiding bid’ah.

As Muslims, we should love the Prophet (salAllaahu alahi wa salam) more than we love ourselves and our family. It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn Hishaam said: We were with the Prophet (salAllaahu alahi wa salam) when he was holding the hand of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab. ‘Umar said to him: “O Messenger of Allah, you are dearer to me than everything except my own self.” The Prophet (salAllaahu alahi wa salam) said: “No, by the One in Whose hand is my soul, not until I am dearer to you than your own self.” ‘Umar said to him: “Now, by Allah, you are dearer to me than my own self.” The Prophet (salAllaahu alahi wa salam) said: “Now (you are a true believer), O ‘Umar.” [al-Bukhaari, 6257]

Love of the messenger of Allah (salAllaahu alayhi wa salam) can be shown in various ways. A sign of love for him is to obey him (salAllaahu alayhi wa salam). Allah has commanded us to follow the Prophet (salAllaahu alahi wa salam). Allah says: “And obey Allah and the Messenger (Muhammad)…” [al-Maa’idah 5:92]. When you love someone, you follow them, imitate them and do what you can to please them. Allah has told us that obedience to the Prophet (salAllaahu alahi wa salam) is obedience to Allah. Allah says: “He who obeys the Messenger (Muhammad), has indeed obeyed Allah, but he who turns away, then we have not sent you (O Muhammad) as a watcher over them” [al-Nisa’ 4:80]

By refusing to obey the messenger of Allah (salAllaahu alayhi wa salam) we are, in reality, refusing to enter jannah. “All of my ummah will enter Paradise except those who refuse.” They said: “O Messenger of Allah, who would refuse?” He said, “Whoever obeys me will enter Paradise and whoever disobeys me has refused.” Everything that the Prophet (salAllaahu alayhi wa salam) said and did leads to paradise and eternal salvation, whereas everything he stayed away from and warned against leads to hellfire and eternal condemnation.

Our Lord, Allah, has given us a man as a mercy not only to humans but to the whole of creation. It is our duty to honor him and defend him when others attack him, even after his death. Allah says: “Verily, We have sent you (O Muhammad) as a witness, as a bearer of glad tidings, and as a Warner. In order that you (O mankind) may believe in Allah and His Messenger, and that you assist and honor him, and (that you) glorify (Allah’s) praises morning and afternoon” [al-Fath 48:8-9].